Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my story on your platform. I pray it will help others going through similar situations.
Just to give you a little background about me...I was raised by 2 narc parents, have 4 narc siblings and I ended up marrying a narc as well. I have been married since 2016 and recently went no contact with all of the narcs in my life back in June of 2020 once I realized who they were. I was able to get a temporary no contact protective order from my husband in June which he broke several times. He called and emailed nonstop and I reported him every time. The state finally issued an arrest warrant for him in September but by then he had already left the state. I know this because we have a joint bank account that he is the primary user on and the bank contacted me a few times about declined charges. I never told him that I am being contacted by the bank and haven't made a deposit to that account since May.
Fast forward to October 16, 2020. I had a feeling in my spirit that I would get contacted by him because our daughter was turning 1. I had been preparing myself for a hoover but thought it would be from his mother as he was still in another state the day before ( I have been monitoring the transactions on the joint account and can see where he is). To my surprise he showed up at my door with tons of gifts, balloons and a birthday cake saying that he didn't want to miss his only daughter's 1st birthday. My 6 year old son practically begged me to see his dad so I let him in so I wouldn't upset my son. This all happened around 4:30 in the afternoon. We sang happy birthday, opened the gifts( he brought gifts for both kids) and my son begged his dad to stay and play a video game with him. I allowed it but at 7:00 I told him that he needs to leave by 7:30 because my daughter is on a sleep schedule and I'm also 6 months pregnant by him and need my rest. He got really upset and started yelling that he wasn't going anywhere. I called the cops immediately and as soon as I started telling the dispatcher my address he attacked me. He broke my phone while it was still in my hand by squeezing it until it shattered. At the same time he was choking me. I was holding my daughter at the time and my son was behind him watching everything. Before I could blackout I saw my son run and get my car keys and he started blowing the rape whistle that's on the key ring. He was blowing non stop and opened the apartment door. My neighbor heard it came to my door and called the police. My husband ran out and sped off in his car. The police came with a detective and pictures were taken of the abuse and damage. Another warrant will be issued for his arrest but I already know he is in another state now because I saw the transaction for an airline ticket and I got a call about a declined charge on Sunday Oct 18.
I learned a major lesson that day. No matter what DO NOT LET THEM IN!!!! Now my son knows why we have to stay away from his dad and he told me he never wants to see him again.
After I cleaned up the mess that was left in my house I came across a journey entry that I wrote on September 29 and would like to share it with you all.
It states: "I just don't understand how people can be so evil and inconsiderate. In regards to my parents, how can you teach one thing and turn around and do the complete opposite? As for my husband, how can you call yourself a man and not take care of your responsibilities? This lesson is a hard one to learn. To find out that you've been surrounded your whole entire life by people who tell you they love you but couldn't care less whether you live or die. Wow...I often wonder why I was chosen to go through this. What did I do to deserve this treatment other than being born? I'm not gonna lie it hurts...but then I'm reminded of the story of Job in the bible. I'm reminded of all that he lost for no other reason than the devil being jealous of who God made Job. And I begin to see myself in a completely different light. I am being attacked from all angles because I was made great by God. Before I came to this earth, God put a calling on my life. Thank you Father for calling me"
After reading that again my strength was renewed and I knew I had to tell my story boldly. I will not cower in fear or be consumed by shame. I refuse to let evil win. I know God is with me and as long as He is with me I have nothing to fear.
I love you all!
Chanel is an expert on narcissism. Her experience and ability to quickly identify what has and is happening to you is invaluable. The life coach sessions drill into what the cycle of abuse is, why it happens and how we can build our strength to love yourself and protect your heart. My session was the best gift I have given myself. Felt the fog of the dysfunction lifted. Thank you dear Chanel, you are definitely God's Spiritual Whistleblower.
Daughter, ex-wife, ex-partner of a Narcissist
Please accept this letter as a testament to Chanel Jasmin Clark's ability to clearly, effectively and efficiently help me in my recovery from a toxic and abusive relationship. She has helped me where many have been unable to. Chanel has a 'no holds barred' approach to reaching the population that she serves.
She uses real talk, real language that her follows are able to grasp and understand. Without judgement, that is her platform. My story has shocked and even made therapists cry.
I had been in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship for 9 years. After 2 suicide attempts and violent outbursts, I decided to get some help. Well I had gone to a therapist for 5 months, she was a great listener, listened to me vent and regurgitate the story of my life and would simply say, "same time next week"?
It wasn't until I stumbled upon the" Spiritual Whistle-blower" on Instagram (later on Youtube.com and now Podcasts) that I learned about narcissistic abuse, the various stages of the abuse, and that I was not crazy!
Chanel has done for me than my months of therapy. Not that it isn't valuable to spill your guts out, however, having someone explain in real talk, that what you have been going through is text book narcissistic abuse. Chanel has also forced me to look at myself, look at my lack of boundaries, low self-esteem, and has provided modern, 2020 suggestions on the work that I have to do to save myself and recover. (ex. blocking and deleting, no contact)
I cannot sign her praises loudly enough. Her book, 'The Break up Manual' has been a valuable resource for me and I'm sure, to the women and men who she resonates with. The book was easy to read, easy to relate to, and provided insight into Chanel's life (making her credible) and gives real advise and hope to the many who seek her wisdom.
If ever you need anything further on this, please feel free to reach out to me